It was four in the morning when I woke up with a shudder. Unsettled from the shock of a dream that had woken me up, I felt out of sort. There was no need to try too hard to remember my dream, which I usually do. The dream was so vivid and real that it seemed like it had just happened in real life. I was with my ex-husband in that dream. After realizing that it was just a dream, I felt relieved to be woken up, even at 4 am. Continue reading “Finding self compassion”
Separation and divorce brings a sense of loss with itself. The loss may not necessarily be a bad thing, but it definitely changes the dynamic of our life. As human beings we easily get used to things. Change is not easy to accept. We are creatures of habit. Waking up at a certain time everyday. Buying our coffee from the same coffee shop. Going to the same hairdresser for years. We all get comfortable with our own routines and rituals in life. We become accustom to them and start identifying ourselves with those routines. The activities become habits; which gradually translate to who we are, or at least who we think we are. Continue reading “Accepting The Loss”
It was January of 2015 when I took my level two meditation. This was another weekend retreat. The level is called “Birth of A Warrior”, an interesting name for this level. That weekend was an emotionally painful experience for me. Later when I was asked by other meditators of what I thought about that level, I recall saying “it was deliciously painful.” (I would repeat that level first opportunity I find as I learned so much about myself through the experience of that weekend)
We never walk into a marriage thinking that we are going to get a divorce one day. Thus, when we find ourselves in the path of separation, the sense of failure is right there with us. We find ourselves responsible for not being able to work things out. The critical mind becomes louder and louder. We start going back to the memory lane. Checking every corner of the past, finding our own flaws and many times our partner’s shortcomings. And right there with the critical mind, shame is sitting to stop us from further embarrassment and humiliation. So we stop ourselves from sharing and owning up our story.